Thinking about my photography I can’t help feeling that some kind of change is needed. So after typing this sentence I put down the laptop and look at my many cameras languishing in the lazy midday light of sunday. Hanging from the walls, sitting on a chair, sleeping on a desk and lazing on my bed are my big film SLR (OM1) that I never use anymore, my zooming digicam (LX1) that’s has not excited me in years, a still popular niche digital camera (GRD) and my once trusty film pocket camera (GR1v). So I have a lot of cameras and the one I like best is the last one, the rest are just … there. But even with mr GR1v, I’m starting to be less drawn towards it and more repelled.

The 28mm lens is maybe too wide, I always want to get closer but it also doesn’t close focus very well. I also find something about it’s ‘bite’ a little too ‘doglike’, intangibly it’s tenacious and sinister when what I want is sleepy and laid back. So I haven’t really been shooting much lately, and worse, have felt little draw to do so - but my personal rules for cameras hasn’t changed so this might help me still:

• I like small cameras, best if they can fit in a pocket and don’t cause a big fuss when I bring it out. At most, a humored smirk is the only reaction I’d want it to cause.
• I like film. Maybe it’s because I use a slow laptop computer and a small screen, but I hate editing digital pictures, it’s such a pain. I also am getting sick of having half my photo library in lightroom and the other in aperture because I can’t decide between the two. Ideally, I’d just shoot film, let the developer figure it out (as they always do) and just throw it all in simple iphoto.
• The camera has to have some history or some idol or story that makes using it interesting. While I don’t shoot with a GR1 because of Daido Moriyama, the attachment of someone so talented tells me that the camera has a very high potential. Unfortunately, I realize now I don’t really like most of his work, I’m not a huge black and white, Tri-X kinda guy and when I see the majority of pictures with a GR1 being taken in this style and less in the ways I’m interested in, it does turn me off of it somewhat.

Now, there are some new rules to the list that I’d like to add now:

• I think I want to try shooting for prints and not for jpegs. Normally, when I shoot film I get it processed and scanned to CD and bypass the prints entirely so that the photos live only on my computer and online. But I think now, I’d like to shoot for prints and then just quickie scan the prints on my own in a low res way for the internet. That way, for reviewing I can flip through physical albums fresh with tangible physicality and realness to see and smell.
• High quality isn’t always better quality.
• I want to use my money to travel someplace far (South America? Brazil?) and just shoot for a few days. I don’t really need or want world landmarks, champs to sip by a hotel pool, and guided tours. Just a place that’s different and has people in it that I like for a little while to freshen myself up.

~~ poof, the wind is blowing: ~~

Now that I’ve fixed my hormones and killed my flu viruses, I should do something for my brain as well as my body. So here’s the plan: I’m going to sell of every camera I have right now, the OM1 SLR (for 80$), the LX1 digicam (100$), GRD that I just got ($300), and the GR1v ($600). With that huge amount of cash, I’ll buy a Konica Big Mini I’ve convinced a Belgian to sell to me (for 60$). Then I’ll buy some new sneakers, and then …

should I really travel now? Part of me really wants to, but then another part is telling me to be responsible with the money and save it - especially after the year I’ve been pretty destitute. I don’t know what I’ll do with the money in truth, but I do have really big plans for the informal and closer and warmer, color-embracing style of photography that I’ve always wanted to do.